Check Your “Male Privilege”
I spent a few years growing up in a couple rough neighborhoods in a rough city, I’ve slept out of my vehicle more than one phase of my life, family court decided I should pay my ex what I grossed near the END of my marriage, and eventually when I remarried and wanted more equitable time I was told that I was too dangerous because someone wrote words on pieces of paper. Well, that and I challenged a judge who wasn’t following the law.
So with that, let’s take a joyride through the so-called "privileges" men enjoy, shall we? I keep hearing all about my privilege so let me add to the list; except it might sound a tad out of theme. I’m not MGTOW but I certainly “get it”. And without that disclaimer, I probably would be labeled it for what’s about to ensue.
Disclaimer: it gets dark.
Divorce: Where Men Get the "Privilege" of Losing Everything
Picture this: you’re a dude, you’ve worked your butt off to build a family, a home, a life. Then divorce court rolls in like a tsunami of bad decisions. Who’s more likely to get the house, the kids, and a chunk of your paycheck for the next decade? Not you, pal. In the U.S., women are awarded primary custody in about 68-88% of cases, depending on the state’s data. Alimony? Oh, that’s a fun one—men are overwhelmingly ordered to pay, even when their ex is perfectly capable of working. Heck, I was ordered to pay alimony for a marriage that only lasted 5 years based on what she owed on her college loans (college she started long before we were married). “He used it to pay bills so that’s marital assets…”, bills as in: her car that she bought and had a loan on LONG before the marriage. Makes sense. And let’s not forget the "privilege" of being financially gutted while/if your ex moves on with Chad from the gym. Male privilege? More like male pillage.
Child Custody: The "You’re a Dad, So You’re Basically Irrelevant" Special
Speaking of kids, let’s talk about the courts’ favorite game: "Pin the Custody on the Mom." Family courts operate on the outdated assumption that mothers are inherently better caregivers, leaving dads fighting an uphill battle just to see their own children. In 2020, U.S. Census data showed 65% of custodial parents were mothers, while only 12% were fathers. Shared custody? A pipe dream in most jurisdictions. Never mind that men are often natural nurturers, despite the tired myth that they’re emotionally distant or unfit for caregiving. Studies, like those from the American Psychological Association in 2018, show fathers are just as capable of forming deep, nurturing bonds with children, providing stability and emotional support. Yet, courts cling to stereotypes, ignoring the grim reality that mothers are more likely to perpetrate violence against children. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (2021), mothers accounted for 61% of child maltreatment fatalities, compared to 41% for fathers (with overlap in dual-parent cases); and we’re not even talking about the somehow divisive, taboo topic of before the child is born. And if you’re a dad who gets labeled "unfit" because you work long hours to provide? Tough luck. The "privilege" here is apparently the joy of being reduced to a wallet with visitation rights. Someone pass the champagne.
Violence: The "Privilege" of Being a Human Punching Bag
Men are just bathing in safety, right? Wrong. Men are victims of violent crime at far higher rates than women. FBI crime stats from 2022 show men made up 88% of homicide victims and 71% of robbery victims. Domestic violence? Don’t even get me started on the myth that it’s a one-way street. Studies like the 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey found that men make up nearly half of domestic violence victims, yet they’re laughed out of shelters or dismissed by police. In fact, men are often more likely to be victims of women in intimate partner violence than the reverse, with studies like the 2014 Archer & Coyne meta-analysis showing men report higher rates of victimization from female partners. But good luck getting that recorded—most cases go unreported because men fear ridicule, and even when they do speak up, authorities frequently refuse to take it seriously or log it as "mutual conflict" to avoid paperwork. And let’s not forget street fights, bar brawls, or random assaults—men are the default targets. Privilege? More like a bullseye on your back.
Suicide: The "Privilege" of Quietly Checking Out
Here’s a fun one: men are so "privileged" they’re killing themselves at astronomical rates. CDC data from 2021 shows men accounted for 78% of suicides in the U.S., with male suicide rates nearly four times higher than female. Why? Maybe because men are socialized to bottle up emotions, to "man up" and soldier through pain, while society shrugs. Don’t believe me? Watch how viciously a man can be labeled as “too emotional” or “dangerous” for expressing justified anger. Trust me, it’s easier when you don’t know how we feel. Mental health resources? Often geared toward women. Support networks? Crickets. The "privilege" here is apparently the freedom to spiral in silence until you’re a statistic. Hooray for patriarchy!
Have you ever been on the phone with an uncontrollably sobbing man that’s lost it all and he’s got a weapon in his hands? Have you taken countless calls in the middle of the night knowing you might be that mans last chance to be heard? Have you ever carried the guilt of missing messages because you couldn’t get to them all and one of them finally did it? Have you had to make GoFundMe’s for deceased dads so that their family could have something to give to their kid? Have you carried the burden of standing watch 24/7 for these men while being one in the EXACT same broken-state every single day? I have. Me. David B of Fathers Anonymous; along with a select very few good men.
Yeah. We’re “killing it” with our patriarchal privilege. And by “it”, I mean ourselves. Much privilege. Great sucess.
Workplace Injury and Death: The "Privilege" of Dying for a Paycheck
Men dominate dangerous jobs—construction, logging, mining, fishing—and guess what? They die in them. A lot. Bureau of Labor Statistics data from 2022 shows men accounted for 93% of workplace fatalities. While women are increasingly entering STEM or corporate boardrooms (good for them!), men are still the ones dangling from scaffolds or getting crushed in factories. And yet, we’re told men have it easy because they "dominate" high-paying fields. Sure, if by "dominate" you mean "disproportionately die." And let’s not forget the ultimate "privilege" of responsibility: Selective Service. In the U.S., men are required to register for the draft at 18, facing potential conscription into military service, while women are exempt. Women’s suffrage in 1920 brought the vote and a host of new rights—huzzah!—but conveniently sidestepped the messy responsibilities men have always borne, like the expectation to die in wars or risk life and limb in hazardous jobs. Funny how "equality" skipped over that part. What a privilege to risk your life so everyone else can complain about the gender pay gap.
The Lie of Male Privilege: A House of Cards Built on Selective Outrage
The male privilege myth thrives on cherry-picking. It zooms in on CEO demographics or political representation while ignoring the blood, sweat, and tears men shed in the shadows. It screams about "toxic masculinity" but stays silent when men are crushed by a system that demands they provide, protect, and perish without complaint. If men are so privileged, why are they homeless at higher rates (60% of the homeless population, per HUD’s 2022 report)? I know women would never experience lighter sentencing or preferential treatment so why are men incarcerated at 10 times the rate of women (BJS, 2021)? Why are they expected to die in wars—99% of U.S. military combat deaths are male (DoD stats)? Some privilege.
Here’s the kicker: pointing this out doesn’t mean women don’t face challenges. They do. But the idea that men are floating through life on a cloud of unearned advantages is a lie so blatant it’s almost performance art. Men aren’t privileged—they’re burdened, often in ways that are invisible because we’ve normalized their suffering. So, next time someone trots out the "male privilege" card, tell them to check the scoreboard. The numbers don’t lie, even if the narrative does.
In the end, male privilege is a fairy tale for people who’d rather clutch their ideology than face reality. Men are dying, losing, and breaking under pressures that society either ignores or celebrates as their "role." So, let’s retire this tired trope and start talking about the actual privilege: the ability to pretend men have it all while they’re quietly carrying the weight of the world.
Anyways, can’t wait for the next Gillette commercial to drop again and passively imply we’re mostly all misogynistic pigs, save for a few beta-simpbros (™ DB of FA) that are the white knight saviors that think they can somehow convince or overpower us real men that carry the world on our shoulders. Did you just hear the mic drop? Probably not; but I’ve grown accustomed to nobody listening. I know. Cue the Maybelline jingle: Maybe he’s born with it; maybe it’s “male privilege.”
David B (I promise I’m not MGTOW)
Fathers Anonymous
